all the ways i think i’m a man i am still just a boy
and every time i think i have a plan the road ahead gets destroyed
im chewing off the skin from my finger nails
hoping some half studied drug is gonna tip the scales
am i just hyper motivated or a masochist
i’d take a tub filled with bleach over a life with this
staring at a stucco ceiling i just cant stop feeling
like im falling back on every little
thought crime that worked out for me big time
thinking on the old life back when i was always very thirsty
now gaining weight at thirty has got me pretty thirsty
if i was just crazy
we could work through things in good time
but im too lazy
so it’s back to the couch where i find my days get hazy
watching lives im thankful ain’t mine
does it amaze thee?
that i could be this banged up and still thrive
every inch of ground i think i’ve gained
comes at a much steeper grade
i’ve lost my place for the hundredth time today
so i re read the same page
im wiping off blood from my fingernails
because i bit too much as a thought prevailed
and the words that dissolved my mental dam?
“is this all i want or all i am?”
i wish that i could just stop wishing i was punk rock
i hear every tick tock counting down to
stressing over grey hairs interviews at day cares
wishing i was still where everything was dirty clothes and napsacks
spot for me a six pack
i could never go back, i will never go.