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1.
from the heightest of heights im just a cell in a cancer i’ve had thirty whole years to get this right but im still waking up to find it gets boring just walking the line cos i’m still pacing the room in my underwears with my “they can’t sees” and “i don’t cares” the world isn’t just what i make of it i get what’s left once you take from it so if you’re sitting up holding your life’s worth in your hands and they’re saying give it up every hare brain scheme and plan
2.
all the ways i think i’m a man i am still just a boy and every time i think i have a plan the road ahead gets destroyed im chewing off the skin from my finger nails hoping some half studied drug is gonna tip the scales am i just hyper motivated or a masochist i’d take a tub filled with bleach over a life with this staring at a stucco ceiling i just cant stop feeling like im falling back on every little thought crime that worked out for me big time thinking on the old life back when i was always very thirsty now gaining weight at thirty has got me pretty thirsty if i was just crazy we could work through things in good time but im too lazy so it’s back to the couch where i find my days get hazy watching lives im thankful ain’t mine does it amaze thee? that i could be this banged up and still thrive every inch of ground i think i’ve gained comes at a much steeper grade i’ve lost my place for the hundredth time today so i re read the same page im wiping off blood from my fingernails because i bit too much as a thought prevailed and the words that dissolved my mental dam? “is this all i want or all i am?” i wish that i could just stop wishing i was punk rock i hear every tick tock counting down to stressing over grey hairs interviews at day cares wishing i was still where everything was dirty clothes and napsacks spot for me a six pack i could never go back, i will never go. too much everything everywhere all the time
3.
4.
Eat My Hands 03:02
cancel all my plans to fight im gonna eat my hands tonight ive been trying to grow im on my third rotation if im cut down again (timber) permanent deforestation spending the afternoon in nihilism as i pine for in-n-out i tilt the seat back to scratch an itch while i ponder the western drought looking up average life expectancy cos this modern life is killing me cancel all my plans to fight im gonna eat my hands tonight so i cant hold on to hope so tight im gonna eat my hands tonight there’s been much debate about how and when to germinate is it too late? i’ll just trust the breeze and test fate a jazz cigarette in the park before dark desperate times call for a creative spark an act of terrorism in the laziest way words of mass distraction you might always get depressed you might miss it when it starts you might never really get your rest you might never really be your best (too much everything everywhere all the time)
5.
somebody help me out of bed these ideations they’ve weighed down my head im sick of trudging along and my cats are nipping like i’m already gone this is just how it goes you’re born, you live, you die alone you’re not the only one being burned in the sun if i sit still enough maybe the bugs will come eat me skip the burial process and all the drugs they’d feed me just to keep me alive until i’ve withered completely if it’s all in my head then let me out there’s a voice of dissent speaking up from within telling me “everything you do sucks” and there’s to point to beginnenglish is never my friend it’s a means to an end every conversation i could never ever begin there’s a voice of dissent speaking up from within telling me we should move to the woods
6.

credits

released March 17, 2015

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